Identifying Gender Identity

               

Photo from: http://politicalillusionsexposed.com/you-wont-believe-the-latest-option-for-gender-identity/

  Gender is diverse. We can tell that because of the other letters outside the of M (man) and W (woman). Recently, I read an article about the addition in courtesy’s Mr (Mister, for men); Ms (Miss, for unmarried woman); and Mrs (Mistress, for married woman). Now there can be Mx or Mixed, for mixed genders. But then again, how will we identify if someone should be called a Mr., Ms., or Mx.? (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/03/insider/mx-did-the-times-adopt-a-new-transgender-courtesy-title.html ; http://www.macmillandictionaryblog.com/mx-a-new-gender-neutral-title)

Firstly, to identify our gender identity, we must first define these two words, Gender and Identity. Gender “refers to the attitudes, feelings, roles and behaviors that a given culture or society, associates with a person’s biological sex”. While Identity is “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.”

                So basically, Gender Identity, based on definition, is the personal conception of oneself. Their own internal sense and personal experience on gender.

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                Plainly speaking, no one can identify their gender identity except oneself. Many people identify themselves as man or woman, but some people do not. People who don’t identify themselves as man or woman may identify themselves as both genders, neither genders, between genders, or not gendered at all-- hence the LGBTQIA+ community.

                To make things easier, let’s just ask ourselves, “Who am I?”

               

                As per personal experience, it was really hard for me to identify myself. Kids nowadays are lucky because there is now an advance researches about gender and sexuality. It was just 2014 when I knew my identity (I was 16 back then). All I know before was to choose between man and woman. But I know to myself that I want to be both. I want to do what a man is doing, at the same time I want to do and experience being a woman.

                I think one factor of this is the representation of media to being a man and a woman, then there’s this show with a gay man dancing and a lesbian woman playing her guitars. I was so lost. I don’t know if I am a man who likes sports and a very strong and tough, or a woman who’s weak and always crying, or the gay man who’s super confident in everything he/she do or say, or the lesbian who loves his/her guitar and almost look like a man. That’s how I saw it on televisions.

                Now that I am a part of an LGBTQIA+ organization, PUP Kasarianlan, I learned that gender is a spectrum. I can be who I want to be, without being boxed in a certain gender. I gained confidence to spread my wings and explore what’s beyond my gender.

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                I now identify myself as a bisexual woman. Despite what other people snide comment or the oppressions from the society and the rejection of Catholic Church, that is what I am and that’s what I want to be identified.

                Gender, also is fluid.  It could change and goes on overtime, or it could be anything you want to be. If the time comes that you don’t want to conform to any gender, it’s fine.

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                Amidst of the society where identifying gender is a sensitive issue, I want us to start to identifying ourselves, whether your straight or a part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

               

 This is not a pressure in you guys to out yourselves. There’s a time for coming out. What I want is to start identifying yourselves because believe me when I say that not knowing what you are and who you want to be is very disheartening. It’s like not knowing a part of you.

Look within you and you’ll know. If you feel confused, look for someone to talk to, ad enlighten you. It was hard, but all of us can make it, because you and only you can decide for your gender identity.

               

My Closet

“Personality changes along with clothes.”

This line had been bothering my thoughts for some time now. Ever since I’ve heard of these words, I started to think, “Does my personality really changes along with my clothes or my clothes changes with my personality?”

Personality, or “the complex of characteristics that distinguishes an individual,” is indeed a complex idea. It could be mistaken as the behavior, attitude, emotional characteristics, or even distinct traits, when in fact it is the totality of those things. Personality is what makes us a person, rooting from the word’ PERSON’.

“Don’t mistake my attitude with my personality. My personality is what I am, my attitude depends on who you are.”

My personality had always been described by other people as funny, simple and typical (these are the things that my family and friends usually thinks), and because of that I started to think, “Yeah, that’s probably me, “or “Perhaps, it was the entirety of being me.”

Depending on how I dress on normal days, I don’t wear that ‘girly’ look. I love my pants, my t-shirts and my rubber shoes. There were days that I wore blouses paired with my pants and chucks. I lose my long curly hair because I want to. I just love those clothes, and that style, it’s very comfy for me. And on those days that I wore my normal clothing’s, I’m still me-- the clumsy, funny and carefree me.

I, also, dress well on occasions. Of course, I wore dresses when I need to, I sometimes wear my pumps, and again, if it’s the right thing to wear on that certain occasion, and yet, I am still the same, I still talk the same way when I wore my pants, the same way when I wore my dress, well, maybe a lil’ bit reserved, but not totally. You ask why? Because it would be easier to act like your normal self than pretending to be someone else for other people to like you. Also, being reserved is a good thing, especially for the first time meetings because they would anticipate for something from you. Another thing is,what if the time comes when I hang-out, again, with the same people I’ve hanged-out with before and they saw my normal self, they might think that I changed, when it was the real me, that what they saw the first time was a sham, an act to being someone I’m not.

Because other people see me as a funny, sweet, and simple girl, because of the way I dress, which are also some of the characteristics of a heterosexual female (straight girls), others always see me as a straight girl, which was kind of a burden to me, especially when they start to ask things like boyfriends, daily girly routines, boyfriends, skin care, boyfriends, jewelries, boyfriends, hot male superstars, boyfriends, hair spa and salons, and lastly, boyfriends.

And that felt like the most perfect time to the drop the bomb like, “Excuse me! I’m a bisexual!” And they’re all gonna be like, “Woah really!? But you look straight to me.”

See? The problem starts there. And because of that, those people keep pressuring me to be straight because I look like one. I mean, can’t bisexual females wear pants and blouses, doll shoes, shirts and skirts, and chucks. If not, then what should I wear? What should be worn?

Like what I stated at the beginning, a personality is the totality of being a person. Then, if I believed in the statement, “Personality changes along with clothes, “it means that if I changed my clothing, I will be a different person.

Our expressions, or the way we act, speak, or even how we dress can be different from our gender identity. As for me, I am a bisexual woman, I like guys and girls. I can be attracted to my same and opposite sex. I have the desires of both heterosexual and homosexual, yet I express myself as a carefree, funny, simple girl. I dress how straight girls because that’s how I want to present myself.

Same for you, you don’t have to change your clothes or the way you express yourself just because other people don’t understand that gay people can wear pants, too. You don’t need to make your hair short because you are a lesbian. Bisexuals can also wear skirts, you know, and it’s perfectly fine. Queer people can be whoever they want, and it’s okay.

Our sexuality, gender identity and our expressions are parts of us being a person. We don’t need to change our clothing and the way we express ourselves, just to satisfy the gender comments.

As for me, it is simply because I am proud of being me. I’m proud being myself. Most especially, I’m proud being bisexual.

(Photo credits to google.com)